It's Been One of Those Weeks

I haven't sat down and written and so long.  I lost interest in it like a lot of things I seem to enjoy once in my life.  I have been asked a few times by my best friend if I have sat down and journaled lately lately and of course my answer was always no.  I told her it was a good idea to maybe start again but of course I never did.  Until now.   

My anxiety has been very high this week.  It started out as a good week I thought but ended on a bad note. I got into a pretty big argument with my best friend and I she was pretty hurt at my anger and how I was yelling at her. We have patched things up and are OK now but I still feel bad about it.   Most of my anxiety is over my relationship and where I want to be in my life. Same old song and dance really.   I am going home to NJ at the end of this month for 6 days.  I can't believe he is OK with it.  But I find myself worrying about him while I will be gone.  Of course I would rather that he be with me, but then of course his Mother AKA the WITCH won't let him take off of work.   I know it is good for me though to go home and see my family and few friends and have just some me time.  I just wish I didn't worry so much if he will be OK, or will he take care of the animals OK, or what will he do with his time while I am gone?  I haven't been separated from him for this long since he was in jail for 10 days back in the beginning of our relationship. I also had so much going on at that time to sit and wonder about him since we were getting kicked out of where we lived.   Anyway, back to this past week, I am not sleeping well.  I have so much I want to and need to accomplish before I leave in just about 2 and a half weeks and I haven't even started or honestly know where to begin.  I feel frazzled.   All I want to do it seems is sit on my butt and chat to friends or do my social media thing, ya know, the fun interests I have, the easy and simple ones, the ones that bring me joy and help keep me somewhat happy and maybe put a smile on my face.   I hope I can get my butt in gear tomorrow and/or Sunday and get started on what I need and want to get done.  As I am writing this, I am thinking I should make a list.  At least it will be all written down and I can check off the things as I get them done. I am however very  much looking forward to seeing my family and my few friends.  I wish I would stop worrying so much about small petty things or things I can not control.   Not sure if that will ever be one of the things I can say I have mastered though.  But then again, who does have that mastered?  Surely not anyone I know.